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Funny Wedding Vows

Funny wedding vows can lighten the mood of an otherwise heavy occasion. Funny wedding vows can put the couple at ease along with friends and family. Not everyone is comfortable expressing the deep emotions of love, caring and permanence, so funny wedding vows help for those who would like to go humorous rather than sentimental.

If you're one of these people who prefer humorous wedding vows to those that are totally serious, we've assembled some samples of funny wedding vows for inspiration.

Some of these funny wedding vows may be a bit over the top for most ceremonies, but at least they may give you an idea of what kind of humor you can put into your own personal vows.

Funny Wedding Vows

Will you Sam take Pam to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her and keep her warm on those long nights when her boyfriend is gone? Will you remain true to her until Thursday afternoon and remain together until she ticks you off for good?

Will you Bert have Ernestine to be your legally wedded wife? I promise to be true to you in good times as long as you're healthy and make love to me and make me dinner. Amen.

Ms. Seuss would you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband? Would you could you in a house? Would you could you with this louse? Would you could you in our church? Would you could you giving birth? Would you take this Sam I Am man and in the morning feed him green eggs and ham?

I, Luci take you Desi to be my husband, my partner in crime and my one true bad boy lover. I will cherish our friendship even when you're away in the Big House. I will love you today, tomorrow and til the end of your life sentence. I will laugh at you, cry for you and love you semi-faithfully through the best of appeals and the worse of appeals. I've given you my hand to hold through jailhouse glass and will visit you often. So, help me Judge Judy.

I, party of the first part, do thee wed, party of the second part, to have and to hold under this contract witnessed before ye parties of the third part. Heretowith, I proclaim myself without further contractual obligations until such time as this marriage contract becomes null and void in a court of law.

OMG, WTF my BFF is now my new husband!

I Barney, take you, Betty, to be my awful wedded wife, to have and to scold, from this day fast forwarded for better but not worse, for richer, sans poorer, forget sickness only in health, to loathe and to cherish, til suspicious death do we part.

I, Salmonella offer myself to you in marriage, in accordance with the Holy Scripture of Kazakhstan. I pledge honesty, sincerity and once a month fidelity, depending upon my mood. I promise to be a faithful and obedient wife as long as you don't cross me and I get my way all the time. Salute!

These are only some samples of funny wedding vows that you may wish to use on your wedding day or during the rehearsal for the amusement of your fiancé or others. If your wedding is in the South, perhaps you'd even like to check out our selection of redneck wedding vows. Humorous wedding vows help to lighten the mood, and when appropriate can help individualize the ceremony for a lighthearted couple. Use them at your discretion or better yet come up with your own. After all, humor is in the eye of the beholder.